सत्य खबर, पानीपत
80 साल की एक बुज़ुर्ग महिला ने कोर्ट में तलाक के लिए अर्जी लगाई।
जज ने बुजुर्ग महिला से पूछा- इस उम्र में तलाक क्यों लेना चाहती हैं आप?
महिला- जज साहब, मेरे पति मुझ पर मानसिक अत्याचार कर रहे हैं।
जज- वो कैसे ?
महिला- इनकी जब मर्जी होती है, मुझे खरी-खोटी सुना देते हैं।
और जब मैं बोलना शुरू करती हूं तो अपने कान की मशीन निकाल देते हैं। पत्नी- तुम शराब में बहुत पैसे बरबाद करते हो, अब बंद करो
पप्प- औऱ तुम ब्यूटी पार्लर में 5000 का कबाड़ा करके आती हो उसका क्या
पत्नी- वो तो मैं तुम्हें सुंदर लगूं इसलिए…
पप्पू- पगली तो में भी तो इसलिये पीता हूं कि तू मुझे सुंदर लगे।
पत्नी बेहोश
पत्नी- मुझे एक कुत्ता खरीदना है।
पति- तुम्हें कुत्ता ही क्यों खरीदना है?
पत्नी- ताकि तुम्हारे ऑफिस जाने के बाद कोई तो मेरे आगे पीछे दुम हिलाने वाला हो। एक दिन चिंटू पंडित जी के पास गया।
पंडित – तुम्हारी कुंडली में धन ही धन लिखा है।
चिंटू – वो तो सब ठीक है पंडित जी, लेकिन ये तो बताइए इस धन को बैंक में कैसे ट्रांसफर करुं।
पंडित बेहोश!
पंडित जी ने पप्पू का हाथ देखा और बोले- बेटा तुम बहुत पढ़ोगे।
पप्पू- पंडित जी मैं तो पढ़ 5 साल से रहा हूं, ये बता दो कि पास कब होऊंगा। संता- मेरी बीवी इतना मज़ाकिया कि क्या बताऊं।
बंता- कैसे ?
*जानिए आखिर सुहागरात पर ऐसा क्या हुआ की पत्नी को सास ने कहा चुप रहो, जानिए फिर क्या हुआ*
संता- कल मैंने उसकी आंखों पर हाथ रख कर पूछा मैं कौन? तो वो बोली “दूध वाला” ट्रेन में लिखा था, ‘बिना टिकट यात्रा करने वाले यात्री होशियार।
उसी ट्रेन में चिंटू भी जा रहा था.
उसने ये लाइन पढ़ी और बोला- वाह, जो टिकट न खरीदें वो होशियार
हमने जो खरीद के रखी है तो हम बेवकूफ हैं क्या? टिल्लू- मेरे दांत में कीड़ा लगा है इसे निकाल दीजिये।
डॉक्टर- ठीक है मैं दवाई देता हूं।
टिल्लू- इस दांत दर्द से तो मर जाना बेहतर है
डॉक्टर- पक्का बताओ फिर मैं उसी हिसाब से दवाई लिखूं।
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